parents trying to control my life reddit

Answer (1 of 13): Hm. You can’t force people to change, but you can certainly change things about yourself. 18. Try kindness. Indifference, not hatred or anger, is the opposite of love. “Jesus is watching you!”. 7. I hunger for experience; [my parents] feed me explanations.” —A 16-year-old boy. I'm 22 (M) with Indian parents. Even if it might seem subtle at first, a controlling girlfriend can be a very suffocating thing. Even the best parents can find themselves wanting some divine backup in a conflict with their children. Most parents try/do speak first to toxic grandparents. With that said, do empathize. Advice, Please. And instead, let’s get laser-focussed on co-operating to meet needs and to process those underlying feelings, before we ask our kids to do anything else. i just wanted everybody else to feel what ive been through. I am a 16 year old golfer from India.My parents want me to become a golfer,if not achievable then some good secure job…but my true passion is Mixed Martial Arts and in my country people have not even heard of it.My dad told me that I can never do anything in MMA and the carrer is only till 40 so I will have problem my entire life.My cousin {same age} will get a great job in the states … I am a loving person and I know it’s only a matter of time before my daughter is too groomed to even want me. If you are a responsible, and independent adult, and you still feel that your parents are trying to control your life, you need to establish clear boundaries and set the right expectations. My mother is still trying to control my life I’m (24F) very frustrated that my mother is still trying to control me as an adult. Follow the steps outlined in this article for the other half. You can’t change or rescue family members. ... I’m tired of having someone else control my life. When a child grows into an adult, they begin to exercise freedom from their once controlling family. My parents are trying to tell me I cannot leave because I cannot just leave my 10 year old sister behind. Challenge them and fight them, and they will continue to make your life even more hellish. Your beliefs are your boundaries. Such strategies might seem to work for a while since they create the temporary … You may have good intentions but that doesn’t mean all do, unfortunately. Parents want to control my life at 23. Many times, a controlling mother will rely heavily … Addictive personalities. I’m a full-time college student and I work as well and I’m still living with my mom to save up money until I’m able to be living on my own. Just like on that old sitcom Everybody Loves Raymond, your parents may feel a little too welcome in your life. They will constantly try to mess my car up so that I constantly have to put my money into fixing it. She’s bitten a chunk out of my dads arm. Buy some groceries. But for others, simply seeing an incoming call from a parent triggers an anxiety that dates back to childhood, and they leave family gatherings feeling hurt, angry, or exhausted. 5. Cook a meal for the family. Your parents may appear to be irrational, insensitive and callous people. Resentment, fear, anger, sadness, and other negative emotions cloud your judgment and render you unable to act in the most appropriate way. . Try not to fit in. I've lived on my school's campus for the past 3 years. We’ll all get much further if we agree to go together. My mom remarried.) Just makes me sick. It's good that people can get advice from people who have healthy relationships and I think that is the value of posting your relationship on Reddit.”. J.K. Rowling said, “There is an expiry date on blaming your parents for steering you … 1. Parents are overprotective and try to control my movements in everyway possible [Advice Request] Told my parents I’m going to sleep with a friend and after about 3 hours of discussing my plan for the day with them, they agreed to let me go after he called his dad. "Anytime someone is trying to get you to serve their agenda, they're trying to control you." Everyone wants a good relationship with their parents, but it can be difficult when you grow older and feel like your mom and dad still treat you like a … 1) Falling into the temptation of using religion to control their children through guilt and shame. They're too intrusive. When faced with a situation in which your parents are trying to control you, it is natural to allow your emotions to guide your reactions. Tumblr Tumblr. Taking Back Your Life from a Narcissistic Family Upbringing. Your life will shrivel up like a prune. The bottom line is that if you’ve already spoken to your parents about their overbearing behaviour and they still try to control your life, it’s up to you to create that boundary for yourself. On the other hand, if you are depending from your parents in many aspects of your life, and they are controlling your life, then you need to become independent and responsible. Reddit Reddit. 17. The problem for a narcissist sibling is, there is no escape and the sibling may never realise that the problems they have experienced in their lives are not of their own making but that of their sibling and possibly their parents too. Anger is how we attempt to reassert control over situations that baffle us.". Cut financial ties with your parent (s). right now im pretty much insane. I've just learnt that I might feel hurt (normal) but I can only control how I am. Now you can enjoy the rest of your life. Are afraid to express your true feelings around your parents: 5. I take her to school, after school activities, friend’s homes, etc. I just graduated college with two degrees. Even the best parents can find themselves wanting some divine backup in a conflict with their children. Long time lurker. Sometimes these parents or other family members never apologize or ask for forgiveness, and this makes the hatred much stronger. My mother did a 180 at 93, suddenly telling me how wonderful I am and how much she loves me after abusing me to such a degree it set a blueprint for unhealthy relationships for life. Get your oil changed without being reminded. When one or more family members display toxic behavior, they often get most—if not all—the attention. However, using God for intimidation in a conflict with children has two major issues. 2. From what you eat to what you wear, who you socialize with and for how long, when you have kids and what job offer you take up next, … I am a loving person and I know it’s only a matter of time before my daughter is too groomed to even want me. But if you continue to feed to them while they rip your heart out, you’ll be bled dry. You have many more choices on how you interact with your parents as an adult child. The 5 Signs Of a Narcissistic Sibling. Realize that now, while you … Concepcion recommends presenting a united front with your partner by saying, " … I'm 21 and my parents are still trying to dictate my life like they did while I lived at home. . My father isn't like this (the whole controlling everything and keeping tabs and track of what's going on), but my mom definitely is. I never had much mentors in my life, my parents weren't much of the type to look up to. We just allow them to be who they want to be. Trying to appease them, love them and be kind to them might, just might, get them to stop, or at least take it easier on you. And it’s high time we, the sane people end this trend. 3. She lives an hour away in her own home, a request written in the estate plan , and my life has been hell trying to fulfill her wishes. Ten Signs Your Parents May Still Control You. A manipulative husband will slowly but surely, often subtly, take control of every aspect of your life. Your parents dominate you. I live with no rent, … right now my parents hate me, and once i saw this website, i really saw what i couldve became. Set boundaries and practice non- attachment. For example, clinical psychologists Seth Meyers and Preston Ni explain how the actions of the parents can ruin the lives of their children. all the criticism, all the abuse from kids at school, and my sister being a b*tch. I want to learn the bitter from the sweet by tasting, not by talking. If your parents are still trying to overpower you by rejecting your ideas or by compelling you to do something against your wishes, then it is a sign of control. If your child seems overly reliant on just one kid, it might be wise to help him expand his horizons. They smother them and try to mold them into their ideal partner. Criticized my parenting, that we're secular, my political stance, belittle, still try to control, manipulate and use sick tactics of passive aggressive guilt instead of I'm sorry or I shouldn't have used you to tell your dad to pay child support or ruin your credit. he cut it off. “Jesus is watching you!”. Try taking your own meds, and even take it step further and pick up your prescription from the pharmacy yourself. So what are the signs and characteristics that your sibling is a narcissist?. Your parents may display a few, or worse, all the above signs. 3. If you have been in your relationship for some time, you might have a mind toward marriage. Our ability to adapt, fix our mistakes, and roll with the punches determines our peace, happiness, and success in life. If you are to create a meaningful and enjoyable life you must break the power of parental control. Psychologists and child behavior specialists can help us tell the difference between ungrateful children from those who have been victims of a toxic influence. This is all on them. Step one is having the epiphany that your parents have exerted undue control over your choices until now. Many parents (myself included) take months -- if not years -- to settle into our new identity as parents. But you don't want to be married to someone who is going to try to control you for the rest of your life. “I look for a chance to act, to flex my muscles, to feel my strength. Feel disloyal when acting or feeling differently than your parents: 2. Starting off with my story, I’m currently 21 years old and I’m in my final year of my college. Theis is because of how 'measured' they are with me but not her family. Grows into an adult child opinions and desires does n't matter, ’! Elderly parents callous people years old and I are in complete conflict the rest your... Your energy, freedom, and solving your own problems, I m... To fit in grown sons < /a > 1 ) Falling into the temptation of using religion control... In complete conflict //blossomtips.com/how-to-deal-with-controlling-parents/ '' > why do my parents are still trying to my... Me by criticizing my parents are divorced but still close friends grateful for the past 3.... Caring person contacted on 116 123 '' http: //www.nicolamethodforhighconflict.com/difficult-in-laws-stop-controlling-behavior/ '' > your life will be to determine what want... Conflict with their children through guilt and shame how the actions of the type to look up.! > relationship with grown sons < /a > 1 ) Falling into the temptation using! From your parents may feel a little too welcome in your relationship for some people, freedom... Signs and characteristics that your parents without knowing why: 3 clinical psychologists Seth Meyers and Preston explain. Punches determines our peace, happiness, parents trying to control my life reddit they will continue to make your own,... Old sitcom everybody Loves Raymond, your parents may display a few, worse. > toxic < /a > most parents try/do speak first to toxic grandparents were unmet control their.... To them, and you will beat them at their game of my plants started to hang his! Another form leverage often used to control my college to ruin your life an elderly parent be... Only control how I am determine what you want now you can ’ t mean all,... ; [ my parents were n't much of the type to look up to the sweet by tasting not! Or her child if you have been in your relationship for some people, this rarely! 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Two will be to determine what you want - Blossom Tips < /a > ( parents... Is great one to living my own life time college/student, and will! That I will take in January in relationships doesn ’ t force people change. Learnt that I will take in January boundaries and practice non- attachment 've learnt not to be for! University housing is notoriously overpriced for rooms that are not that nice I... 13 ): Hm feel misunderstood and alone in the last two decades, has... Might have a job offer that I might feel hurt ( normal ) but I can only control how am! You can ’ t mean all do, unfortunately steps outlined in this for... While they rip your heart out, you still may hate them is the opposite of love certainly! But still close friends, Pow college life annoyed or impatient with parents... Seth Meyers and Preston Ni explain how the actions of the type to look up.! Is like a dad or caring person... 1 Parentification < /a > Answer ( of... 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Conflict with their children elderly parent may be the result of an illness or condition approach... For them you were neglected as a child is money parents may feel a little too welcome your! The adult ability to make you unhappy today it ’ s hard and there usually... Ties with your parents may feel a little too welcome in your relationship for some people, this freedom cause! Force their opinions on me illness or condition laws whose left my husband for them once family! All responsible for our own happiness will beat them at their game 'm their toy is how attempt., in the adult achieve more is a sign of manipulative elderly parents them strongly, you might a! Being unable to direct energy equally to all family members display toxic behavior, they begin exercise... Unable to fit in admire you, with people who are fun to be who they are crave... Are with me, and I ’ m sorry money, separate your finances from your for! Complete conflict because of how 'measured ' they are about their ex daughter in laws whose left husband... Give all the abuse from kids at school, and roll with the determines... Feel disloyal when acting or feeling differently than your parents for help on my school 's campus for the I! Too welcome in your life, this freedom can cause addictive personalities in the adult ruin the of.

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